The Quiet Courage of Belonging

Belonging is softer than I imagined.

I thought it would be bold. Confident. Certain.

Instead, it has been a practice of grace.

Grace for the part of me that still compares and questions. Grace for the voice that says, “Not yet.” Grace for the moments I want to shrink.

Since the new year, I have been practicing belonging. At unfamiliar tables. In rooms where I am the only one. On stages I don’t feel fully ready to stand upon.

Brené Brown says,
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

It sounds simple. But we are taught to fit in instead, especially in medicine.

To become agreeable and polished. To adapt to systems not made for our bodies or our lives. To overfunction. To perform.

We become fluent in “fitting in.” And we forget the language of belonging.

Belonging is not something you earn.

It is something you choose.

You decide to show up exactly as you are—and to take your place.

Every day in my work, I see women untangle the patterns that keep them performing instead of being. With coaching, they learn how to be themselves—and in every relationship they choose to maintain.

Leaders who once felt alone discover they were never the only ones. They find their voice in a circle where belonging is the starting point, not the reward.

At retreats, belonging emerges over shared meals, in small group coaching, by the fire and the pool, on yoga mats, and during walks in the forest. Belonging happens not because we are the same, but because we all show up fully as ourselves in a safe space.

Belonging is an inner stance. It is the courage to meet yourself as you are—and to take your seat as you are.

If you're interested in working on this, consider joining me for Deeper Connections Advanced Coaching, Leading from the Heart, and/or an upcoming retreat.