What Do You Want More Of?

What’s one thing you want more of?

What’s one thing you want less of?

What’s one thing you want to keep doing?

These simple questions offer a doorway inward. They connect you to what matters most—something unique to each of us.

They’re also a reminder that you are not a self-improvement project. You are already doing many things well.

These questions are a bridge to self-compassion. They gently illuminate alignment.

They help us fine-tune without the pressure of setting goals or striving for more.

What do women physicians often share

When I pose these questions to women physicians, the answers are remarkably consistent.

They want more time in nature, more meaningful conversations with friends, more time reading, and more presence with their children—especially teenagers.

They want less time charting, less energy consumed by drama (family or work), and less time spent worrying.

And they want to keep doing the things that feel most meaningful in their lives.

Sharing answers in community magnifies the power of this exercise. It’s one reason facilitated coaching groups and retreats create such profound transformation.

My own answers

When I asked myself these questions, here’s what surfaced:

What do I want to keep doing?
I want to keep doing exactly what I am doing at Pause & Presence—delivering impactful talks, leading retreats in beautiful places, coaching individuals and small groups, teaching yoga and mindfulness, and nourishing others (and myself) with fruits and vegetables from my garden. I love the variety. And I was proud that these desires fell in the “continue” category rather than “more.”

Wanting more can sometimes imply “not enough.” Right now, my work feels very much like enough. Each offering has its own natural ebb and flow. I feel aligned, purposeful, and able to trust that new clients and opportunities will arrive in their right season.

What do I want less of?
I want to spend less energy resisting the realities of parental aging and all the family dynamics and memories that come along with it.

What do I want more of?
I want more friendship, laughter, time outdoors—hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming, watching the moon. More sound baths. More tomato sandwiches made from my own garden.

My invitation

If working with these questions sparks something in you—and if you’d like to hear the answers others discover—I invite you to join me in small-group coaching.

The conversations are honest, grounding, and inspiring.

Sometimes, just asking the right question changes everything.