Two Years, One Business, Zero Firings: What I Learned Working with My Husband

Two years ago, Mark left his law practice and joined me full-time at Pause & Presence.

After 30 years of marriage, the doctor and the lawyer decided to work together on a culinary medicine, yoga, coaching, speaking, and mindfulness business. Could have gone either way...

We’re still married. He hasn’t quit. I haven’t fired him.

By all metrics, it’s a wildly successful experiment.

Today, I paused to reflect on our second anniversary as "coworkers."

I asked Mark to reflect too, but—naturally—he hasn’t gotten around to it yet. Our pacing has never quite matched. I sprint. He strolls. I write newsletters. He fixes irrigation systems.

In the beginning, we had a clear division of labor:

Me – Yoga, coaching, writing, podcasting, retreat facilitator, and creator of magic.

Him – Culinary wizard, Tech guy, Photographer, and legal counsel.

Then we added a few “small” things: Institutional contracts, international speaking, culinary medicine, sound healing, and A FARM.

Working together has "invited" me to relinquish some control. I’ve had to learn to delegate, trust, and not hover.

In doing so, I've also discovered things about Mark I never knew in 40 years together.

Among his other many talents, it turns out he’s brilliant at farming, fixing irrigation, plumbing, fences, and tractors.

He is amazing at creating, making, growing, and building things- from heart sculptures to yoga studios, to staghorn ferns.

He also has a special talent for teaching and sharing his passions mindfully and lovingly with others.

He recently pointed out that- while we share values and many likes - nature, good food, family, live music, and living on a farm — we have almost no overlapping skills.

This may be what makes our partnership work.

There are also unfortunately still plenty of required things neither of us excels at.

I am learning, albeit very slowly, to get help with these.

In marriage and business, especially when they are intertwined, outsourcing is an act of love.

Since April 2023, we’ve become empty nesters and grandparents.

We've pivoted, evolved, and expanded.

We still (usually) like each other.

The ripple effect of our work together is much greater than either of us imagined or could have done alone.

Despite the more than occasional eye roll or “spirited discussion”, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Here’s to love.

To pausing and being present.

And to the business of farm-to-table dreams, healing humans, and the culture of medicine, and learning how to do a million new things over 50.

Including working side by side day in and day out with someone you love.

Leaning into love, making decisions from love, and showing up with love is what makes amazing things both possible and fun. Curious and excited to discover what's next.