How to Have More Fun: A Mindset Shift That Works

Editor’s Note (February 2026): This post was updated with a few new reflections and current links.

“It’s fun to have fun, but you have to know how.”
—The Cat in the Hat

This quote was shared at a Zoom 70th birthday party today for my husband’s “fun” Aunt Jean.

Based on the family stories told—and from what I know personally of her over the last few decades—she has shown her whole family how to have fun for a lifetime.

What came up in the stories, though, is something I think many of us quietly know:

Not everyone excels at having fun.

Many of us struggle with how to have fun.

Including me… until relatively recently.

Why high achievers often struggle with fun

I have always been exceptional at projects, working hard, achieving…

But experiencing true fun often eluded me.

It turns out that fun is a mindset.

And coaching and mindfulness didn’t only teach me how to be more calm and content…

They also taught me how to have more fun.

Babies and kids demonstrate why fun is a mindset.

Without the “shoulds,” limiting beliefs, expectations, and constant self-monitoring, fun is much more accessible.

When you are fully in the moment, fun happens more readily.

Not all the time—life isn’t supposed to be fun all the time.

But life can be much more fun if you decide you want it to be.

Fun is an inside job

Coaching teaches you something radical (and incredibly freeing):

It is possible to have fun regardless of external circumstances.

That happiness—and experiencing fun—are an inside job.

That nothing outside of you has to change for you to have more fun.

You can decide—from within—how you want to experience the world.

I learned that when I stopped trying to change my circumstances and other people to be happy…

…I was much happier.

When I stopped telling stories about the past that didn’t serve me, the current moment felt lighter.

When I stopped worrying about the what-ifs in the future and started believing that anything is possible…

more became possible.

When I made decisions based on what I truly wanted instead of what I thought I should want, I found incredible freedom.

And yes—more fun.

Coaching and mindfulness helped me see what I truly wanted and why.

And empowered me to decide to live more authentically.

This doesn’t mean my life is all rainbows and unicorns.

It means I’m transformed.

I experience much less angst, overwhelm, and frustration…

…and much more freedom and fun.

You can practice fun

Working with a coach helped me understand that I am responsible for my own happiness.

And since most of life’s circumstances cannot be changed in the moment, having more fun requires:

mindfulness
acceptance of what is
presence
and an intentional decision

Whatever circumstance you find yourself in, you always have the power to change how you think about what is happening.

If you decide you want to have more fun, you can.

I wish for all of you more fun.

“It’s fun to have fun, but you have to know how.”

If you are like me and weren’t born as the “fun” one, you can change.

Reach out if you want help.