312. Mothering on Purpose: Mindful Mothering Across Every Stage
Mothering changes shape over time. We get to change with it.
Between us, Ni-Cheng and I are mothering an 8-year-old, a 16-year-old, a 21-year-old, a 26-year-old, and an almost 30-year-old. None of these moments looks the same. Your approach determines the landing.
Mothering on purpose is not about fixing more, doing more, or worrying harder. It's about presence. Trust. Holding your tongue. Letting them figure things out. Recognizing that your urgency is not theirs. Becoming the mother you wish you'd had — for your kids, and for yourself.
What we explore
The clear glass vase: holding their struggle without absorbing it
Reparenting yourself in real time
Equity vs. equality between siblings
Mindfulness tenets as a framework for intentional mothering
Grandmothering and mother-in-lawing on purpose
Pearls of Wisdom
The approach determines the landing.
Their struggle isn't yours.
We are raising children to become adults, not raising children to stay kids.
Your urgency is not their urgency.
Be approachable and available — with limits.
Sometimes love is sitting in silence.
Mothering is a long game.
Reflection Questions
What tone and energy are you mothering from?
What are you absorbing that isn't yours?
What intention do you want to bring to your mothering?
Intentional mothering is the practice of being present and intentional. Whether your child is 8 days, 8 months, 8 years, or 30 years old, the questions stay similar: Can you show up present? Can you trust them? Can you hold your tongue? Can you live your own life fully? Can you mother with intention rather than expectation?
If this episode speaks to you, curiosity is the starting place. Listening is a beautiful start.
The Connect in Nature retreat that Ni-Cheng and I will co-lead this summer is designed around everything we talk about in this episode: space, nature, community, embodiment, and the permission to explore without needing to produce or perform.
Retreats at Nicasio Creek Farm offer the same optimal conditions.
Coaching, one-on-one or in small groups, is another way to explore what you are asking for more room in your life.
Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.
The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.
FAQs
Who is this episode for? Any mother who wants to mother on purpose rather than on autopilot — especially mothers trying to break intergenerational patterns or do it differently than how they were raised.
What is reparenting? Becoming the mother you wish you'd had — for your children, and for yourself.
What is the clear glass vase? An image Ni-Cheng's therapist offered: when someone hands you their struggle, hold it, look at it, get curious about it, and put it down. Without absorbing it as your own.
What are the mindfulness tenets we walk through? Patience, non-judgment, trust, letting go, acceptance, curiosity, generosity, gratitude, and paying attention on purpose.
Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.
Related Episodes
Episode 256 - Lessons from Mothering: A Mindful Journey Through the Seasons of Motherhood
Episode 134 - Mindful Wisdom from a New Grandmother
Episode 121 - Exploring the "Richness" of the Mother-In-Law Relationship