324. Physicians Caring for Aging Parents: Boundaries and Buoyancy
There is a moment many physicians know is coming: a parent's health changes, and our role changes with it. Caring for aging parents can amplify overfunctioning, worry, and the pressure to get everything right — especially for those of us who are also the doctor in the family.
In this episode, Dr. Jessie Mahoney and Ni-Cheng Liang, MD explore how mindfulness and coaching don't remove the difficulty of caregiving, but can change how we carry it and help us stay present, connected, and buoyant along the way.
What We Explore:
Why being the doctor in the family can complicate caregiving rather than ease it
The difference between resilience and buoyancy
Walking alongside aging parents instead of managing them
Letting go of overfunctioning and over-optimizing
What overwhelm and resentment are actually signaling
Boundaries with parents and siblings during a health crisis
Pearls of Wisdom:
Being "the doctor in the family" can make caregiving harder rather than easier. We may recognize every red flag and feel responsible even when the decisions are not ours to make.
Buoyancy is different from resilience. Most physicians already know how to endure; buoyancy is about capacity, nervous system steadiness, repletion, and rising again when life pulls us under.
Walking alongside our aging parents is different from managing them. We can offer knowledge and be helpful while still respecting their autonomy.
Sustainable caregiving requires letting go of overfunctioning and over-optimizing. Doing something most efficiently doesn't automatically mean it's ours to do.
Overwhelm, anger, frustration, and resentment aren't evidence that we're failing. They're information that may be asking us to rest, ask for help, regulate, or set a boundary.
FAQs
What is this episode about?
It explores how physicians can approach caregiving for aging parents with more buoyancy — steadiness and capacity — rather than pure endurance.
Is buoyancy the same as resilience?
No. Most physicians already know how to endure. Buoyancy is about capacity, nervous system steadiness, and being able to rise again when life pulls us under.
Does walking alongside a parent mean managing their care?
No. It means offering knowledge and support while still respecting their autonomy, even when they make choices we might not agree with.
What if caregiving is bringing up overwhelm or resentment?
Those feelings aren't evidence of failure. They're information that may be asking for rest, help, regulation, or a boundary.
Related Episodes:
116. Caring for Aging Parents with Grace and Presence with Dr. Mary Norman
Ways to work with Jessie:
CME Wellness Retreats: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats
1:1 and Small Group Physician Coaching: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching
Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga:www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga
Jessie's Blog: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog
*Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.