329. Hope Is Not a Plan: Finding Agency in Chaos, Caregiving, and Change

There are seasons when life asks us to adapt before we are ready.

A parent’s health changes. A family has to make decisions it did not expect. Work becomes unsustainable. A relationship shifts. The world feels uncertain. We hope the hard thing will go away.

Hope is human. It can be inspiring. It can keep us going.

But hope is not a plan.

In this episode, I share what I am learning from a difficult and unexpectedly chaotic chapter of caring for my aging parents. In a matter of days, our family experienced ER visits, hospitalizations, an ICU night, changing needs, hard conversations, and all the family dynamics that can arise when people we love need more care.

This episode is about the times when life feels out of control, and we need a way to stay present, steady, and human.

We talk about acceptance as radical honesty rather than resignation. We explore why resisting reality is energetically expensive, why agency brings relief, and why we need to distinguish between where we have agency and where someone else has agency.

I also share the practices that help me stay buoyant: letting go, trusting myself, being present, paying attention on purpose, gratitude, generosity, curiosity, and setting an intention for how I want to show up.

Pearls of wisdom: 

• Hope is human, but hope is not a plan.

• Allow yourself grace to be human.

• Gratitude puts you back on top.

• Presence gives you clarity, agency, and energy.

• Trust yourself, even when it does not make sense.

• Care for your physiology before you are depleted.

• Inform others with kindness.

• What will I wish I had done?

• What would love do?

May we be human amidst whatever special flavor of chaos we are living. May we be brave and bold. May we trust ourselves. And may we be present for the moments we did not plan, but may one day be grateful we did not miss.

If you are ready for change, coaching helps.

1:1 and Small Group Physician Coaching: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching
Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga
Jessie's Blog: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog

*Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.