Mindful Love Tips for Messy Relationships
Relationships are beautiful—and often also messy.
The people we love don’t always do things the way we think they “should.”
Just like we don’t always do things the way they think we should.
One of the most grounding practices I know is remembering:
Other people get to make their own decisions.
And their decisions aren’t usually about us at all.
They’re about them.
Just like our decisions aren’t usually about them.
Because we love these people, we sometimes get frustrated.
And in the spirit of creating more love in the world, here are a few Mindful Love tips.
Mindful Love tip: focus on what’s in your control
When I feel frustrated, I come back to what is actually in my control:
What I choose to think about their decisions
What I decide to say
What I decide to do
And I ask myself:
What would love do?
What would compassion do?
What do I want to do?
Mindful Love tip: release “should.”
I try to stay away from what I think I should want to do…
or what I want them to do.
Instead, I return to what helps me show up well.
In moments of frustration, what I usually want is to:
show up authentically, with love
stay out of judgment
take a deep breath
pause and be present
be intentionally curious
offer grace and compassion—for them and for me
From here, it becomes much easier to find humor, love, and connection.
Want more tools?
If you want more tips and coaching tools to help transform a struggling relationship into one that feels more easeful and connected, join me for Mindful Love starting March 5.
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