The PAUSE

Wise, loving, and inspired writings on the journey of life, love, and medicine

A physician wellness blog with practical tools for burnout recovery, boundaries, mindful leadership, and a life better lived — from Jessie Mahoney, MD.

About the Author: Jessie Mahoney, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician, certified coach, and physician wellness expert with over 20 years of experience as a leader in physician wellness, coaching, and mindful medicine

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    In addition to this blog, I publish regularly on KevinMD. These are some of the pieces that have been shared most widely

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    A Cup of Love: Stop Comparing, Start Noticing

    When we lean into the beauty of the good we have in our relationships, we experience more good.

    There are lots of different models of amazing and worthwhile relationships in this world. Without a doubt, every relationship is missing something. When we let go of comparisons with others' relationships, those who we perceive may have more of what we think we want, and we enjoy our own more.

    Could you resist the urge to believe there is a relationship out there that would be better and make you happier?

    Could you trust the you who chose this relationship when you chose it?

    What if you choose to tell a story about it that feels good and helps you enjoy your life?

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    We are all imperfect.

    Doing the work on you and your own mind can help you find a harmonious place in your relationships even when the other person - teen- young adult or otherwise- isn’t in a space to be able to or doesn’t want to make changes.

    Accepting and allowing your teens, young adult children, and partners- as they are and you as you are — with “grace and compassion.” is a beautiful strategy.

    We are all imperfect and “a work in progress.”

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    What To Do When You Parent Differently

    Your relationship with your adult children is longer than your relationship with your children as kids and there is a lot of time to get it right and wrong. And it usually turns out fine either way.

    There is no failure just learning. Sometimes there is more learning when it doesn't go right than when it does.

    Mindfulness and coaching have helped me become a much better parenting teammate. Supporting your teammates and playing to their strengths is a great strategy. Micromanaging and criticizing usually don't lead to the best team experience or results.

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    Nourishment

    Nourishment is a prerequisite for transformation. Being the best possible parent, spouse, friend, doctor, colleague, and contributor to a better world are not possible from a place of depletion.

    There are many ways to nourish yourself. Healthy food is but one.

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    Choose Your Feelings

    I like to coach in from the feeling line because it is where I see the most powerful and transformative mindset shifts from a place of ease rather than force or pushing.

    This past week the shifts in predominant feelings after 5 days of mindful coaching and nourishing yoga at my retreat were inspiring and honestly led me and others to tingles….

    Focus on the feelings. They are your experience. They are your guideposts to create the life of your dreams.

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    The Upper Limit Problem

    When things are really good we often feel uncomfortable and many of us don’t know how to truly enjoy them and allow abundance and feel proud. Our nefarious or trouble-making thoughts are not usually conscious. And they are so so common.

    “You grow what you practice.”

    So now that I have noticed the problem I am back on track. Practicing the capacity to have, feeling proud, and appreciating the abundance and magical transformations I was privileged to be a part of.

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    100% Worth Your Time

    It's helpful to have a coach who has experienced your training, and who has insight into the medical culture. It doesn't solve all your problems, but it will help you to see yourself as more capable and leave behind perspectives that limit your perception of your self-worth and your capacity to improve.”

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    It's Ok To Take A Break

    Sometimes life throws out a lot of swirl.

    And pausing and being present in the swirl is part of the journey.

    Rushing to solve and fix and decide is tempting but it often means you miss the offered lesson and growth.

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    Neurodiverse Marriage: What Would Love Do?

    Mindfulness and coaching allow me to see this and then to live it with those I love. It is especially helpful in my neurodiverse marriage and with my mother.

    Once again I am back to my guiding words for 2021– love, abundance, grounded, and proud.

    When I chose these words I did not understand how they would —and should —seep deeply into every nook and cranny of my life.

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    Women Physicians in Neurodiverse Marriages: The Gift of Knowing What You’re Navigating

    Autism may seem like a negative. But as coaching teaches you- it is merely a neutral fact.

    Some days our neurodiverse marriage is a fact that feels like a heavy brick, and I wish it was different. On other days it feels like a gift.

    Because of our neurodiversity, I have had to grow in ways I didn't know I needed or wanted to. And that growth was good. In fact, it was amazing.

    It's good and bad. Like everything in life.

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    Wobble Days

    Somedays “should” be great days but they don’t always feel that way. Even if on paper they look great.

    Even when you do all the things you wanted and hoped for and that should have felt nourishing, sometimes even then you feel wobbly and unsure.

    These days are different from Down Days.

    Lighter but with a nervous energetic unsteadiness.

    have decided to call them Wobble Days.

    Everyone has them.

    They are part of being human. Nothing has gone wrong.

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