294. What Giving a TEDx Talk Taught Me: Choosing Love Over Control

This solocast reflects on what giving a TEDx talk taught me about nervous system regulation, self-trust, and choosing love over control. In a medical culture that rewards certainty and discourages vulnerability, visibility is a nervous system challenge. Standing on a red circle requires staying present when every instinct says to hide.

Through the question “What would love do?”, this episode offers a grounded framework for decision-making, leadership, and communication that integrates data, values, and human emotion. It is a personal reflection and an invitation to choose integrity and presence when outcomes are uncertain and what we carry matters.

PEARLS OF WISDOM

• The questions we ask shape the answers we receive. Fear-based questions rarely lead us where we want to go.
• “What would love do?” is not sentimental or self-sacrificing; it is grounded, honest, and committed to doing no harm, including to ourselves.
• Physicians are trained to equate control with safety.
• Visibility and vulnerability are nervous system challenges, not character flaws, and they can be practiced with intention.
• Choosing love often means choosing discomfort in service of what matters most.

Reflection Questions

Where in your life are you trying to manage or control when a different question might bring clarity?
What decisions feel heavy right now, and how might they shift if you asked, “What would love do?”
Where are you being invited to tolerate discomfort so something meaningful can grow?
How might your work, relationships, or leadership change if you asked what love would do?

CLOSING INVITATION

Giving this TEDx talk deepened my trust in the question that has quietly guided my life and work for years. It reminded me that love stays present even when outcomes are uncertain, and that choosing reach over ease is often part of meaningful contribution.

Please listen to the full TEdx talk here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRQwr8-ITBQ

Please share it and spread love-based decision-making far and wide. It is more needed than ever right now. You sharing the talk is the way it will reach those who really need to hear it.

Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.