For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan.

I’ve always had a plan. A goal. A roadmap. A timeline.

Lately, I have chosen to hang out in a different space—one that feels unfamiliar and deeply right at the same time.

Recently, a colleague from my Martha Beck coach training group visited Nicasio. During her visit, the first time we had met in person, she asked me: What’s next for Pause & Presence?

What is my plan or my vision?

My honest answer – “I have no idea.”

This was terrifying to say.

Not because I’m lost—but because I’m finally allowing myself not to have a there to get to. I am permitting myself to be here.

I am calling this season - integration.

Time to take in what it took to get here—the effort, the learning, the risk, the creativity—and to let it settle into something deeper.

A client of mine recently coined a word for this phase: INTE-GREAT.

It's not about processing.

It’s about enjoying and letting your growth become an integral part of who you are — at the cellular level.

In Martha Beck’s Change Cycle, this is Square Four—the Promised Land.

The part we dream of when we’re struggling… and then when we get there, we promptly rush through or skip over it when it arrives.

Why?

Because Square Four can be terrifying.

There’s nothing urgent to fix. Nothing to do. In fact, you aren’t advised to make significant changes.

And that makes it uncomfortable for people like me.

Many of us are afraid that if we pause to enjoy where we are, if we stop to feel fulfilled or let our guard down, the other shoe will drop.

Something bad will happen.

We will lose momentum. Miss an opportunity. Fall behind.

So instead, most of us move right on.

We make another plan. And in doing so, we miss the very moment we worked so hard to reach.

For most of my life, I have done precisely this.

Always thinking, preparing, analyzing.

Always focused on the next right thing.

Now I check in with my future self—not to make a new strategy, but to decide how to be and what to do right now.

Life here, in this moment, isn’t perfect. There are frustrations, messes, disappointments, and many real-life stressors.

What’s changed is my trust.

In myself.

In my ability to respond with clarity and the natural unfolding of whatever is next.

My shifts, and those of my client, didn’t happen by accident. They came through years of coaching, mindfulness, forgiveness, self-compassion, and risk-taking.

I share this not because I’ve figured it all out, but to offer hope.

That a person who once over-functioned, overthought, and over-achieved her way through life can live with more peace, purpose, and presence. Connection, slowing down, and contentment can feel like success.

I genuinely do not have a master plan for Pause & Presence, or even my life right now.

Instead, I am paying attention, listening, and trusting that what’s next will reveal itself in time.

What's interesting is that in this state, even in the last week, many new things have come to fruition . My new Deeper Connections Advanced Coaching program and my Heart-Centered Leadership Coaching Program have both come to fruition with complete ease.

This is precisely what happened when I practiced being satisfied two years ago.

If you’re also in a moment of transition, stillness, or Square Four, don’t rush it.

Please don’t skip it even though it's uncomfortable.

Marinate. Germinate.

Integreat.