278. Finding Peace by Letting Go of Fixing, Managing, and Controlling
What if love doesn’t look like fixing, managing, and controlling?
What if letting go is the most loving thing you could do?
Today's episode shares the story of what becomes possible when we choose peace over control.
Our guest is Carol Howe, a school psychologist whom I met through a virtual Women of Dartmouth event in 2023. Her story is a testament to how the tools and wisdom of coaching are helpful well beyond the realm of healthcare. Her story illustrates how the most significant change always comes from within.
Carol shares how coaching helped her move from feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and helpless in the wake of family mental health struggles and marital stress, to a place of peace, trust, and presence - without anyone else having to change.
Pearls of Wisdom:
You don’t have to fix it to love it. Real love doesn't come from fixing, managing, or controlling—it comes from presence, compassion, and acceptance (even when you don’t like something).
Be the lighthouse. When others are riding waves of emotion, your steadiness is the greatest gift you can offer. It starts with caring for yourself first.
Just like me. This simple phrase softens resentment and reconnects you to the humanity in the people around you, even when they can’t or don’t want to change.
Change begins with you. Nothing outside you has to change for you to feel more peaceful and empowered inside.
Your story shapes your life. Carol’s powerful insight came when she realized the life she had once written as a “future story” had come true—because of how she chose to think, feel, and show up.
Reflection Questions:
What might “being the lighthouse” look like in your life today?
Where are you stuck in fixing, managing, or controlling? What if letting go created more connection?
What story are you telling yourself about your relationships—and what story do you want to tell in the future?
Whether you're navigating challenges in your marriage, with your children, or within yourself, coaching offers the kind of compassionate, forward-focused support that can truly change your life—no matter your profession or background.
If Carol’s story inspired you or you're feeling stuck, lost, or desperate for change, 1:1 and/or group coaching may be precisely the shift you need. Learn more and sign up for coaching here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching
If you're craving peace, rest, and a beautiful place to begin your own transformation, I warmly invite you to join me on retreat: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats
If you’d like to bring this kind of compassionate, healing conversation to your institution, conference, or organization, I would love to come speak to your group. Learn more about my talks and workshops here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking
My co host Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang, also brings mindfulness to the broader healthcare community through breath, presence, and healing workshops. Learn more about her offerings here: www.awakenbreath.org
Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.