298. What Are You Waiting For? Reclaiming Agency for Physicians Trained to Delay Life

We have been taught to wait as a measure of professionalism.
We delay rest, joy, and alignment because medicine taught us that patience equals commitment.
Many of us are still waiting long after training ends, hoping the system will change.
This waiting can feel loyal, responsible, even virtuous.
Over time, it quietly costs us our presence, our health, and our lives.

PEARLS OF WISDOM
• Waiting is not neutral. It often preserves systems that rely on our overfunctioning and silence.
• Many of us are not waiting because it is right, but because we were trained to believe it is required.
• The system is not always broken; sometimes it is functioning exactly as designed.
• Agency begins when we stop waiting for permission and choose alignment, even in small ways.
• Fear often shows up when we stop waiting, and fear does not mean we are wrong.

Reflection Questions
Where in our lives have we normalized waiting that no longer feels aligned?
What are we postponing because we believe now is not the right time?
What might become possible if we stopped waiting for permission?
Who benefits from our waiting, and who bears the cost?

CLOSING INVITATION

This conversation is not about leaving medicine.  It is about staying in medicine without disappearing ourselves in the process.

Many of us were trained to endure quietly and trust that relief would come later. What we are exploring instead is the possibility of choosing ourselves now, even gently and imperfectly.

Coaching and retreat spaces are one way we practice this shift together.  Not to fix ourselves, but to remember that our lives matter now, not someday. We are allowed to live full lives alongside meaningful work.

If coaching, a retreat, or an intentional pause feels supportive, notice what comes up when you consider not waiting. Often, the only thing standing between us and alignment is the permission we can give ourselves.

Find out about 1:1 coaching with Dr. Jessie Mahoney:

Learn about Jessie’s small group coaching programs:

www.jessiemahoneymd.com/group-coaching

Join Jessie at Nicaiso Creek Farm CME Wellness Retreats for Women Physicians 

or  

Jessie & Ni-Cheng at the COED Connect in Nature Mindfulness Retreat at Green Gulch Farm and Zen Center.
www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats

*Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.

Other useful links to explore:

• National Academy of Medicine – Clinician Well-Being
https://nam.edu/initiatives/clinician-resilience-and-well-being/

• University of Arizona Integrative Medicine
https://integrativemedicine.arizona.edu